Never Letting Go
by da-mouse
Summary: He thinks about the person that means everything to him: her. -Neo/Trinity-


**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Matrix or any of its characters. If I did, I'll be swimming in a pool of money; but sadly I have nothing but 19 bucks in my purse. So yeah. Don't sue. 

**Note: ** Lousy one-shot, but I just wanted to try writing a Matrix fic. So bear with me! Borrowed a few lines from _Reloaded_, will clarify, because I don't want the Warchowski brothers to hit me with a lawsuit. Minor spoilers for _Reloaded_, but can be disregarded. Oh well, just thought I'll insert a warning here. ^-^

Never Letting Go  
written by: da*mouse

It was just one of those days after a long day in the Matrix. He sat on the worn table, holding a warm mug of coffee in his hand. Inhaling the rich, aromatic smell, he could feel some of weariness lifting.  
  


_Sometimes I wonder what am I doing here.  
  
_

He didn't know what he was supposed to do, when Morpheus told him he was The One. To him, the idea was incredulous, how can he be anything, be someone, which he didn't know? Didn't recognise? Didn't understand?

  
_What am I supposed to do?  
  
_

Day after day, he fought. He fought for all of them, for Zion, for humankind, for himself. He fought without thinking why he had to. He just knew that he had to. He had to fight. That was just it.  
  
__

Did they understand? Morpheus, Trinity, Link?  
  


A lot of people could not understand. More than one that they had unplugged chose to betray them, chose to go back to the Matrix, to live a life that they themselves know was false. Simply because they could not face reality. They could not accept the fact that the world they had believed in, lived in, functioned in, was merely a lie. A computer program. And these people would rather live in ignorance. They didn't want to fight. And he wondered about that.

_Why fight?_  
  


What was there to gain? Sometimes he didn't understand. There was so much to lose. Life, for example. Many a time he had seen his comrades die. And he hated the feelings of helplessness…because he was The One, but yet, he could do nothing to save them. It was beyond his control. There were some things he cannot control. He can control bullets, knives, flight, but not death. Never death. How could he control death?   
 

_Trinity…  
  
_

Trinity. The first woman who ever loved him. The first woman he ever loved, and the only woman he would ever love. She who placed her complete trust, heart and soul in him. Everyday, he fought, with fear haunting him. Everyday, when he fought, he thought of her. Whenever she wasn't with him, he was gripped by a horrible fear.  
  
__

That he won't see her again…  
  


The nightmares still troubled him. He saved her once. Maybe he could do it again. And maybe he couldn't. Maybe there was only so much he could do. Maybe...  
  


_All I can do…_  
  


His dread. To be unplugged from the machine, to have Morpheus telling him, that Trinity was gone. Killed. No longer with them, with him. That he won't ever see her again. And that he had no chance to say goodbye, to tell her how much he loved her. How much she meant to him. How much…    
 

_To say goodbye…  
  
_

He never wanted to. Never. She was his light in this whole dark world. It was her, always her. Thoughts of her kept him going when he was too tired to fight. She was the one who urged him on when he felt like giving up. She would never let him give up, because she would never give up on him. He didn't what he would do if he were to lose her. He honestly didn't. He had contemplated the notion so many times, the notion that one day, she would not be by his side. And if that time ever comes…  
  


_I can't go on, too…  
  
_

He feared that he would cease to exist. He feared that he couldn't go on. Not without her. He couldn't imagine a world without her, a life without her, going on without her. There would be nothing. No light.  
  


_Nothing…_  
  


A noise at the door made him turned around. She stood there, a slight smile on her face, holding her own mug. His heart sped up at the sight of her, it always did. Sitting down beside him, she set down her mug, her eyes questioning.

"What are you doing?"

Seeing her so close to him, he had an urge to grab her, and hold her close to him. Never letting her out of his arms. Never letting her go. 

"Thinking."

"About?"

He was silent for a moment. The he decided to let his emotions take over. He reached over, and took her into his arms, hugging her tightly. The sudden embrace surprised her, but she returned his hug lovingly. 

"What is it, Neo?" She whispered. "You can tell me."

He took a deep breath, and shuddered. "Trinity. I…can't lose you." _I can't ever lose you. I love you too much.  _

She pushed him back a little. The fear and sudden despair in his eyes shocked her, and worried her. She knew what was bothering him, and it troubled her. It suddenly occurred to her that the only few times when Neo ever showed fear, it was because of her. Her. 

_I can't lose you, too. _Tenderly, she took his hand, and pressed it against her heart. 

"You won't lose me. Ever. I'm holding onto you, Neo. And I'm never letting go."

Fiercely, he embraced her again, holding her tight against him, burying his face in her hair. "I love you," He whispered. 

"I love you, too. I'm here. I'll always be here."

_Trinity, I love you. I really do. _

He may be The One, invincible and indestructible. But underneath it all, he was still human. Who knew how to love, and needed to be love.

_I'm never letting go, too. Because I can't._

  
_-_Finis-

da*mouse ®  
posted 20th June 2003  
12.40 a.m.

Okay, that was _quite _lame, and probably had been done a few times. But I fell in love with the Neo/Trinity pairing, and just had to write something on them. Keanu Reeves is just toooooo cool! ^-^

So, review/comment/flame/whatever. As long as it's constructive. And if any Matrix die-hards think I suck at this, rest assured I probably won't be writing another one. :P Just want to write _something, _and this is it. :P

**Credits:** Last part of Trinity and Neo's conversation is original [i.e. does not belong to me]. It belongs to the Warchowski brothers, featured in the _Matrix Reloaded._ Yeah, I am unoriginal.

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